My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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