My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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