It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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