seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize