all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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