I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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