Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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