Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
smell my finger.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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