Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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