I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I need moral support for this bender
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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