He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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