there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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