How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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