i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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