I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
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He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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