Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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