So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
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drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
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Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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