I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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