i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize