I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize