Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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