If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
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Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
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She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I have aggressive nipples.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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