look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
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Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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