Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
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This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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