So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize