he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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