Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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