Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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