The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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