Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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