I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize