She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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