I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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