like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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