i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I have feelings that need drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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