He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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