This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
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Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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