He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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