so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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