The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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