You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
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rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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