we have pet lesbian snakes
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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