Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
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I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
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The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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