Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
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It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
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I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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