tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
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Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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