Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
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Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
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Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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