official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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