Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
that is very illegal...i love you.
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