Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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