Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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